Looking for a way to ease the pain of your great loss? Have you tried the common warnings to keep busy or try not to think about what you’ve missed and they don’t seem to help? It will be worth your time and energy to consider what has been useful to millions over the years.
I’m talking about the miraculous way that finding opportunities to be of service to others has eased the heavy burden of bearing the death of a loved one. Stop – don’t dismiss this out of the blue, before you honestly give it a try. You cannot help another without helping yourself.
It all starts with having a sincere intention to serve and embracing the truth that making the effort to make the world a better place is worth it. Intent is central to any commitment we make and sets the mood that begins healing.
How does helping others help us cope with the death of a loved one? These are some of the ideas that others have gained and shared.
1. Selfless service forces you to interact with others in various ways. As adults, we all have a natural tendency to give love, attention, and assistance. Maybe it’s because of the way such acts of kindness bring us closer to others. But we must be open to seeking opportunities to bring our skills, experiences, and treasures to those in need. As Robert Louis Stevenson said: “As long as we love, we serve.” We need each other.
2. Achievements always have a positive effect on the way we think about ourselves. This is especially important when we are dealing with a great loss, as we are sad and in low spirits. We need the boost that comes with relieving someone else’s pain or brightening their day. Perhaps that is why Emerson advised: “It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”
3. Serving others reduces the time we spend repeating painful memories of thoughts surrounding the death of our loved one. A single thought can cause great pain or start to bring peace. Serving others takes us out of ourselves when we turn our attention to others. It can be as simple as making a phone call to an inmate while lying in bed or taking their place in a service line for those in need of a meal.
4. Your service will positively affect your biological response to the death of your loved one. Grief is not simply an emotional response. Every thought we have affects our physiology, either positively or negatively. Going out, interacting with others, and reflecting on how you are helping those in need will affect your physiology in a healthy way; It will especially give your immune system a boost and reduce stress levels.
5. You will be on the path of inner peace. Part of your lifetime journey may be filled with moments of gratitude that come to you through your work with others. It can put into perspective what you still possess but have eluded you: the ability to find peace. It will show you the importance of all the little things you have that we commonly take for granted. And the joy of acceptance, approval, and appreciation of what you accomplish through service will bring peace back to your life.
And never forget; be sure to allow others to give you. By doing so, you are giving them the very things that we are talking about here: good feelings, good physiology, and a chance to express your love. The true service is always a two-way connection.