One of the most common things that most women do after an affair is compare themselves to the other woman. You may find negative and disempowering thoughts running through your head throughout the day. “I wonder if she’s prettier than me.” “I’m sure she’s younger and she’s in better shape than me.” “I have become boring, no wonder she has strayed.” Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
Imagine what you are doing, the tremendous load you are carrying right now. Not only are you dealing with the aftermath of an affair, you know you find yourself overwhelmed by these negative thoughts. The cruelest part of this is that these negative thoughts about you are actually coming from you and you did absolutely nothing wrong.
Repair your damaged self-esteem after an affair
When your outside world is in crisis, having this range of negative emotions adds to the questions you already have about your husband, your marriage, and even about yourself as a person. Doubt is a normal emotion to go through after finding out your husband had an affair, but when those little voices of doubt turn into screams of doubt, you’re starting down the dangerous path of killing yourself. esteem.
The number of things damaged after an affair is often too many to count, but two of the most damaging are the loss of trust in your marriage and the direct hit to your self-esteem. So, not only does she have to deal with the fact that her husband decided to leave her marriage, but she also begins to question her own image.
Having to deal with the consequences of your husband’s affair will lead you to question everything you previously took for granted. He really makes you question everything in your life that you once held to be true.
control your inner voice
It is human nature to focus on the things that bring pain in life; It seems to me that more people spend more time avoiding pain than pursuing happiness. The aftermath of her husband’s affair has left her in an understandable whirlwind of emotions with a plethora of negative thoughts running through her mind throughout the day.
It is important that you be aware of the internal conversation that goes through your head on a daily basis. The best way to do this is to keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings. You have enough right now without becoming your own worst enemy, managing your inner voice will help make sure you don’t add to the damage of your husband’s affair.
Forget about the other woman
Almost as soon as you found out that your husband had an affair, you probably started comparing yourself to her, either directly or indirectly. You need to challenge the thoughts that go through your head. Her husband’s actions do not define her in any way.
Since you’ve built this woman to be some kind of superwoman in your head, there’s one thing you need to keep in mind. If this woman was the perfect angel that you pretend she is, she wouldn’t be involved with someone’s husband.
It’s never a good move to try to build your self-esteem by tearing someone else down, so when you find yourself in situations where you’re comparing yourself to the other woman, you can adjust your thought process a bit to help you deal with it.
Do you find yourself comparing your appearance to hers? If you don’t know what the woman looks like, then adjust her mind’s view of what you think she looks like. Paint her picture any way you need to stop comparing yourself to her.
Focus on your good qualities
Finding out that your spouse has had an affair damages your self-esteem. To stop comparing yourself to the other woman, it’s time to go back to being your best friend. If you need a push, get out a pen and a piece of paper and make a list of her good qualities. You are patient? You have a good heart? What is your favorite physical quality? If writing your list wasn’t enough to make you believe what’s on paper, spend some time going over it in your head whenever you find thoughts about the other woman in your head.
Repeating your list will almost become your self-affirmation mantra. Self-affirmations can help you heal your self-esteem and help you stop comparing yourself to the other woman after an affair.