Certainly this has happened to you. You approach a woman who really interests you from across the room and the moment you use your best line or introduce yourself, she smiles politely and walks away with all her friends. What just happened? Well, she saw you coming and she already had her defenses up before you even got close to her. Why does this happen and how do you break down his defenses in order to get a date?
Women are very sensitive people. Everyone has dating scars and there are many people who can be classified as walking wounded looking to be rescued. This is a huge turnoff for many women, especially the one you want to attract. Many dating experts have said that it only takes a woman a few seconds to feel her surroundings and put her defenses up to protect herself from the elements. Guys, we are the element that women constantly want to be with and avoid at the same time.
Nobody wants to get hurt. It could be that the girl of your desire is going through a lot of bad dates and men are only looking for one thing that flirts with her. Your biggest challenge in breaking down your defenses is your past experiences. There are good news. You can break through these defenses by not causing this automatic reaction in the first place. The best way to do this is to give you a new way of looking at things and the way women react to your advances.
You have to create an environment that makes her feel safe and gives her time to get to know you and get to know you. Before you even head out to a club or bar, you already have that invisible wall up just in case some annoying guy walks up to you. This information that you are about to get will be really easy for some guys and a little more difficult for others.
The key is to be relaxed and stop seeking approval. Guys seeking approval will be more direct and aggressive when approaching women. In this modern age, women are going to be very careful when meeting strange men for fear of violence, stalking, and whatever terrible thing you may have heard on the news. But to overcome her defenses, you can relieve her of her fears simply by being yourself with no apparent agenda and doing what you do because you want to. For whatever reason, this absolutely works. So when talking to girls, you can act like you don’t really care what she thinks of you and like you have the confidence to know who you are and what it’s about. The moment you try to impress a woman for her approval, you will quickly join the ranks of the wounded who walk for love and dating.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t approach women or talk to the girls you want to meet, but it does mean that you give her a chance to feel comfortable enough to respond to your efforts by talking to her.